Islam Talks About DATING

Man was created by the Almighty to bring nature (instinct) to love the opposite sex as His words: "The love of desires, of women and sons and hoarded treasures of gold and silver and well bred horses and cattle and rice field, is made to seem fair to men; this is the provision of the life of this world; and Allah is He with Whom is the good goal (of life)." (Surah Ali-Imran 3: 14).

Imam Qurtubi said: "Allah ta'ala starts with the word "women" because most people want them.  This is also  because they are a snare-trap of devils who become fitnah (libel) for men, as the words of the Prophet SAW:" I will never leave after me is more dangerous temptation for men than women." (Narrated by Bukhari: 5696, Muslims: 2740, al-Tirmidhi: 2780, Ibn Majah: 3998).

Therefore, the woman is the greatest slander than others. (Tafseer Qurtubi 2 / 20).  This  also happened for the Prophet as human who can not escape the feeling of love towards women. From Annas Ibn Malik RA said: Rasulullah SAW said: "Pleased to me from the world of fragrances and women's affairs." (Narrated by Ahmad, 3 / 285, Nisaa'i 7 / 61, Bayhaqi 7 / 78 and Abu Ya'la 6 / 199 with a hasan isnaad. See Al-Misykah: 5261).


Because love is a human nature, then the Almighty made women as the jewelry of the world and the promised blessings for believers in heaven namely fairy.
From Abdullah Ibn AmrIbn Ash RA said: Rasulullah SAW said: "This world is a jewel, and the best jewelry is a woman who shalihah (pious and virtuous)." (Narrated by Muslim 10/56, Nisaa'i 6 / 69, Ibn Majah 1 / 571, Ahmad 2 / 168, Bayhaqi 7 / 80).


He said: "In the paradise there are good fairies and pretty ones." (Surat Ar-Rahman 55: 70).


However, Islam as a complete religion  for the Apostles, doesn't let that slander wander without boundaries. Islam has strictly regulated how to manage the effects of love, as well as how to limit interaction between two people of the opposite sex before marriage, so that everything remains in the corridor of ethics and norms in accordance with shari'ah (laws of Islam).


Association Ethics between Opposite Sex In Islam
1. Casting down  gaze at the opposite sex
God ordered men to bow his view, as His Word: "Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do." (Surat An-Nur: 30). As this was also ordered to believer women, Allah says: "And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts " (Surat An-Nur 24: 31).

2. Closing aurat (private parts) 
Allah says: "and do not display their ornaments except what appears  thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms" (Surat An-Nur 24: 31). Also His words: "O Prophet! say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers that they let down upon them their over-garments; this will be more proper, that they may be known, and thus they will not be given trouble; and  Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (Surat al-Ahzab 33: 59). Commands to cover aurat also applies to all types, as a hadeeth: from Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri RA said: Rasulullah SAW said: "Let not a man looking at male genitalia, as well as the women do not see female genitalia." (Narrated by Muslim 1 / 641, Abu Dawood, 4018, 2793 Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah 661).

3. No two-pair with the opposite sex
From Ibn Abbas RA said: I heard the Messenger of Allah SAW said: "Let not a man two-pair (Khalwat) with a woman except with mahram." (Narrated by Bukhari 9 / 330, Muslim 1341). From Jabir ibn Samurah said: Rasulullah SAW said: "No one of you two-pair with a woman, because the devil will be the third." (Narrated by Ahmad, 1 / 18, Tirmidhi, 3 / 374 with Saheeh isnaad , see Takhrij Misykah 3188).

4. Not be soft (melodious) in greeting
A woman was banned from making melodious remarks while talking to someone other than her husband. The Word of God: "O wives of the Prophet! you are not like any other of the women; If you will be on your guard, then be not soft in (your) speech, lest he in whose heart  is a disease yearn; and speak a good word.  " (Surat al-Ahzab 33: 32). Imaam Ibn Katheer said: "These are some ethics that were ordered by Allah to the Prophet's wives and other believer muslim women, i.e. let him when talking to others without the melodious voice, in the sense that a woman should not talk to others as  she spoke with her husband. " (Tafsir Ibn Kathir 3 / 530).

5. Not touching the opposite sex
From Ma'qil RA bin Yasar said: Rasulullah SAW said: "If someone's head is pierced with an iron needle is still better than touching a woman who is not lawful for him." (Narrated by al-Kabir Thabrani in Mu'jam musnadnya 20/174/386 and Rauyani in 1283 by hasan isnaad, see Ash-Shohihah 1/447/226).
Shaykh Al-Albani said may Allaah have mercy: "In this hadith there is the threat of harsh on the people who touched a woman who is not lawful for him." (Ash-Shohihah 1 / 448). Prophet never touch a woman even in critical moments like membai'at and others. From 'A'ishah said: "By Allah, Allah's hand never touched the woman's hand at all even when membaiat." (Narrated by Bukhari 4891). This is the most ethical relationships with men other than her mahram, which is when someone violates all or part of it alone would be a sin of adultery to him, as word of the Prophet SAW: From Abu Hurairah RA from the Prophet SAW said: "Verily, Allah ordered for parts of the adam child adultery, which would be about it. adulterous eye view, with the fornication oral speaking, while the souls willing and daydream, and cunt that will justify or deny everything. " (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4 / 170, 8:52 Muslim, Abu Dawud 2152). Allah ta'ala has forbidden fornication and everything that can get close to adultery (See Hirosatul Fadhilah by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, Hal. 94-98) as his word: "And come not nigh to fornication, adultery is actually a heinous act and an evil way. " (Surat al-Isra ': 32).
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Dating Law

After considering the above verses and hadith, it is no doubt that dating is haram (forbidden) because of some of the following reasons:
1. People who are dating may not cast down his gaze of his lover.
2. People who are dating would not be able to keep the hijab.
3. People who are dating are often two-pair with her boyfriend, both indoors or outdoors.
4. Women will be pampered and make soft or melodious her voice when she with her boyfriend.
5. Courtship is identical to the touching between men and women, even though it was only a handshake.
6. People who are dating, we can be sure that they always imagine someone they love.


In the dating dictionary, these things are considered as common things, whereas one thing is enough to forbid dating, then how if all of them?
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The Fatwa of  Islamic Scholars about Dating
Syaikh Muhammad ibn Saleh al-Uthaymeen was asked about the relationship of love before marriage (dating). His answer: If the relationship before the marriage ceremony, both have an application or not, it is haraam, because it should not be someone to have fun with strange women (non-mahram) either through words, looks, or two-pair. As has been thabit from the Prophet SAW, that he said: "Let not a man two-pair with a woman except with mahram, and let not a woman travel except with her mahram." (Fatwas Muhammad Al-Islamiyah collection Musnid 3 / 80).

Shaykh Abdullah Ibn Abdur Rahman al-Jibrin was asked: "If there was a man who corresponded with a woman who is not mahram, which in the end they loved each other, is the act haram?" Answer: The act is not permissible, because it can lead to lust between them, and encouraged him to meet and connect, which causes a lot of correspondence that kind of slander and instill in a person's heart for the love of adultery to be able to plunge the person on indecency, then I advised to anyone who wants good for him to avoid passing notes, telephone conversations and actions of religion and the like in order to maintain his honor.

Sheikh Jibrin was also asked: "What is the ruling if there is a young man who is not married call girl who is not married?" Answer: Not allowed to speak with a strange woman (not a mahram) with talks that could lead to lust, like seduction, soften the and make good voice over the phone or the other. As word of the Almighty: "And do you soften the sound, so will want the people who have heart disease." (Surat al-Ahzab: 32). Then, if the talks for a purpose,  it is not matter if the survivors of the libel, but merely needs. (Fatawa Islamiyah 3 / 97).

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Actually, forbidden courtship more clearly than the sun in broad daylight. Nevertheless there are still trying to reject the proposition that even with very fragile, fragile as a house spider, among doubtful it is: 

It can not be beaten flat that dating is forbidden, because it could have been dating the Islamic people, without violating the Shari'a.  The term "Islamic Courtship" was just there in a fantasy, and there never was its form. Because suppose could avoid seclusion, touching and cover aurat. but still will not be able to avoid looking at each other. Or at least imagine and think of his lover. Which it was enough to proscribe courtship.

People before entering the world of marriage, need to know the first prospective spouse, either side of the physical and character, which it will not be done without going out, however, because the failure before marriage will be far milder than that occurred after the marriage. Answer: Indeed, knowing the physical and character of the candidate's wife or husband is something that people need before entering the Big Dipper's wedding, so there are no regrets later on, also was not impressed to buy a cat in a sack. However, these goals can not justify anything impure.

Plus, that people who are in love will try to ask all the good with the cover up shortcomings in the face of her lover. Also people who are in love would be blind and deaf to his girlfriend works, so will see all the good he did was flawless. (See Faidhul Qodir by Imam Al-Munawi 3 / 454). As narrated from Abu Darda ': "something you love makes you blind and deaf." (Either weak hadeeth marfu 'or mauquf, history 2/1/157 Bukhari in Tarikh Kabir, Abu Dawud 5130, Ahmad 5 / 194, See Pedigree Dloifah 4/348/1868).

Ma'raji: Ahmad ibn Abdul Lathif Sabiq Abu Yusuf / Al-Furqon Magazine Issue 8 Th.II / Rabi 'ul-Awwal 1424.